Hey y’all, WOW once again it’s been a while since coming on here. It’s SO crazy how time flies. I realize now that my last few posts have started out with the last two sentences, but hey life is a whirlwind what can I say? My last post was mainly about how our cross-country move from Alabama to Washington went, but this post is going to detail my induction and my delivery. 

So much has changed since my last post, EVERYTHING really. But it’s all been amazing and awesome life-changing change. Guys…. I am a MOM!! Summer Juliet Watts is officially a MOM. And I am so happy to be a mom. 

Speaking of being a mom, I am going to preface this blog post with a bold statement that I firmly believe is true. It’s really heartbreaking, but something I have realized ten-fold since becoming a mom. I am sharing this because I think it’s a really important fact that every mom, and every woman that plans on being a mom needs to really grasp and understand. 

The world today DOES NOT want women like me (or any woman really) to become a mom. We are a threat. And the world (we might as well just say Satan) is trying to defeat and exterminate us, our children, and the family unit every day. 

There, I said it. And it’s 100% true. The spiritual attacks I have faced post-pregnancy have been unreal, and are proof alone that this statement is true. The family unit is dying, and it’s because of what the world is teaching young women today. Let me say this right off the bat: I am not saying that having a job is a bad thing, its an amazing thing. Its even better if you can be a mom and have a job. But the world wants you sold out to it above all else, and it wants your relationships, your family, and your personal health to take a backseat.

The world wants young women like me to devote their lives to the paycheck. It wants women to work and date until their biological time-clock runs out. It doesn’t want meaningful relationships that build a legacy. It wants casual flings and degenerate hook-ups. It tells us that we don’t need a man, and that we don’t need to procreate and take the attention off of ourselves and our all-consuming careers. Why? Because the world today that we live in is extremely anti-family. It wants us to pick lust, selfishness, and money over a higher calling. And if we choose to have kids, it wants to destroy them at every turn. It attacks the family unit non-stop, and shames you for being a mom. And if you are a mom and not making an income, then you’re just another run-of-the-mill “mom”, a dime a dozen in their book. 

It also guilts you for rejecting the liberal and toxic principles that it wants to force onto your kids in schools. The world makes you feel like being a mom is the least important thing that you can be today, even though it’s the singular most important thing you can be in today’s clown show day and age. 

So if you’re a mom and have been feeling the weight of the world lately, take that weight and throw it out in the garbage with the rest of Satan’s lies. Being a mom is CRUCIAL in this day and age, and don’t for a second think it’s not. As someone who used to be job-obsessed and used to chase after promotions and paychecks, I can tell you right now that being a mom (even though I haven’t really been a mom for too long) is 1000 times more rewarding and fulfilling than getting any promotion or paycheck is. It’s also 1000 times harder and a million times more important. With that being lifted off my chest, let’s dive into my birth story because it really is proof of Gods faithfulness, love, grace, and mercy. If it seems a little all over the place, I apologize in advance as some of my memories are a bit scattered. Hopefully though, you see the beauty and God’s faithfulness in it like I did. 

So a month or two before I gave birth, I had a dream, a really important dream. In the Bible, for those who don’t know, God used dreams to reveal the future. A good example of this can be found in Genesis 37-50, which details Joseph’s story. For the record, I truly believe God still does this today, which is why I am sharing with y’all this particular dream. 

The dream was short, and I don’t remember the small details, but in the dream I remember being induced and being really afraid because I didn’t want to be induced (which is how I felt about being induced, and when I was induced). But after being induced, my baby popped right out of me with ease, and I remember thinking in the dream, “wow, is it over already?” I was amazed. And then I woke up. I remember telling Nick about the dream and saying something like, “Well I sure hope this is what God has for me when my actual birth happens”, but I had little to no hope that this was going to happen. 

Fast forward to January 29th, the day I got induced. I remember waking up that day, doing my usual milling and waddling around the house, and then going to the bathroom and noticing some odd fluid coming out. This had happened the night before too while Nick and I were watching some anime, and it felt like more of a small gush that night. I called Nick and told him about it, and he told me that we should go into triage and get it checked out that day. So we did, and I didn’t think much of it. “They will send me home”, I thought, “it’s just a false alarm, but better safe than sorry.” Well, turns out I was wrong. They did an ultrasound, and found that my fluid sacs surrounding my placenta (or in my placenta, frankly I don’t remember which one but you get the idea) didn’t really have any fluid in them. According to the nurses, this was a problem, and could potentially harm my baby if I waited any longer. So without even telling me they were going to induce me, the nurses plopped me in a room and acted like I already knew what was going to happen… when they hadn’t even told me. So once I figured it out I was SHOCKED, excited, but SCARED. 

For most of you that don’t know, I had this irrational fear during pregnancy that I was going to die in child-birth. Not really sure why, but I had heard some horrific stories and given my luck with my health, I just had this really weird and irrational fear, placed there by the enemy no doubt. So when I found out I was being induced, I asked the nurse if I could go home and risk it… and to my dismay they said I could but that it wasn’t smart. So later that day, they placed two balloons that would become the size of clementines up inside me, and for about 12 hours I endured that. Towards the end, it was some of the most miserable pain I had ever endured… but it wasn’t in vain. After they took them out, I was 3 centimeters dilated. 

The next day, January 30th, they started the pitocin. This is supposed to give you contractions, but it causes severe pain over time as they increase the dose via the IV. So I started it, and it wasn’t bad at first. My nurse, who was sent from God, was a nurse that chose to go slow with the dose increases. She told me that some nurses tend to be more aggressive, upping the dose by ten each time, but I believe she was only upping mine by two which is a significant difference. So my pain was escalating, but slowly. My mom and step-dad came to visit, and I remember my mom walking the hallways with me as she rolled around my IV for me. We did some hip exercises, and walked a lot up and down the hallway right outside my room. I came back into the room, and asked for pain meds, which the nurse gave me. To my disappointment, they didn’t work well because I could still feel my contractions through them. After this, I kept having to get up to go to the bathroom, even though every time I went I wasn’t going very much. Then, in came the mid-wife and another nurse on duty. They talked about breaking my water, and when they were going to do it… and literally as they were talking about breaking my water, my water broke. It was a sudden gush, and it felt like a gush from God, no joke. This is where my memory is a tad fuzzy, because I am not totally certain on when, but after my water broke I am pretty sure they checked to see how much I was dilated again… and to my dismay I was still only 3 centimeters. 

But soon after, the pain from my contractions quickly became unbearable. I asked for an epidural, and received it very shortly after. The pain I felt during those contractions… well let’s just say it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. After the epidural kicked in, I still felt the pain. But after my bladder was emptied, I finally received relief. After that, I tried to get rest, but the nurses insisted on coming in every hour to turn my legs from one side to the other so that the numbing would be felt in both legs when delivery came. I was really appreciative of this, even though I did ask them to remove the ball that they had placed between my legs at one point because of the discomfort. This leg flipping process was crucial though I think when it came to delivering, because if they hadn’t been doing that I think I easily could have felt an extreme pain in one leg, and numbing in the other. At around 8pm, they checked to see how dilated I was, and I went from 3 centimeters to 5. I felt a bit bummed, but was happy there was progress. 

So, after a few hours of flip-flopping my legs, raising the pitocin dose, and pushing a button that kept sending numbing juice to my legs (which at some point they had to tell me to stop pushing because they said my legs were too numb), they checked to see how dilated I was again. They checked around 11:40pm. The mid-wife took a look and told me that I was fully dilated, and ready to have a baby. I was SO shocked, and happy at this. Nervous and scared, but SO happy. FINALLY, I was going to see my baby. So they brought in everything they needed to get the delivery going, and I got into position and started pushing really quickly. And you guys…. I kid you not. I pushed probably a total of ten times. Couldn’t feel a single thing… couldn’t even feel myself pushing I was so numb. But my pushes were strong, and on the last push, Autumn shot out like a rocket and almost hit the floor. And so, Miss Autumn Joy Watts was born on January 31st at 12:11am. 🙂

The nurses immediately grabbed her and put her on my chest for the skin-to-skin contact. That whole time before and while pushing, I was doing my best to keep my focus on God, even though my focus was trying to go every which way. I remember reading a Sarah Young devotion while I was lying there at some point during my labor, and it said, “…bring every thought captive to me” (2 Corinthians 10:5). And before the delivery, this came to my head. I did my best to focus on Him, and sure enough God blessed me for it. It was the best delivery I could have ever asked for or imagined or… dreamt of. 😉 The dream I had just a month or two prior came true. I truly believe that God gave me that dream, and fulfilled it to show just how much He loves me, and cares about the sweet little lamb that he brought into the world through me. I really truly believe that. 

I know there are Christian cynics out there who don’t think these kinds of things happen, but from my experience they do. Now, I do believe that it’s important to not to over-spiritualize things, because not everything is a sign from God. It’s important to be able to discern which things are from God, and which things aren’t. But we should never limit God. We should never be too skeptic when it comes to signs from God, because then we are limiting God’s power and influence in and over our lives. And, we are missing out on proof of God’s glory and sovereignty when we label everything as “mere coincidence”. Personally, I don’t really believe in coincidence.

This isn’t the only time God has done something like this in my life either. He has done things even more jaw-dropping than this in my life, and that’s how I know He exists. 

You always hear non-Christians say, “God isn’t real, and the Bible is pure fiction.” They always want PROOF that He is real, but even when given proof they mock it and act like it’s not valid. But based off of my experiences and relationship with Jesus, I can tell you with 100% certainty that Jesus loves you, He loves me, and that He comes close to those who seek Him. I am not saying that I never doubt, but I am saying that God is real and ALWAYS working. If you want proof that God exists, then get to know Him. And wow, I can tell you that if you are genuine in your search, He will most definitely show Himself to you in ways you never imagined. 

Those first few moments with Autumn were so magical and special. I just couldn’t believe what my body had done, and what God had created and allowed my body to do. Every time I look at my sweet Autumn girl, I can’t believe that God chose me to make such a precious and beautiful little girl. She is God’s handiwork, and his handiwork is the most glorious and magnificent thing in the world to behold. 

And with that, I’ll bring this blog post to a close. If you’ve made it this far, just WOW. Thank you so much for reading, and feel free to comment your thoughts and share this blog with others. I have so many more thoughts on the importance of being a mom and how it’s impacted my thinking, but I’ll save those for next time. Everyday I am learning so much, and it’s been such a hard but rewarding and incredible experience. I would like to come here more on a “daily” basis and share with y’all what God is teaching me everyday, so hopefully I can actually start doing that. Thank you so much again for reading my humble blog, and I ll be back with more updates and insight real soon. ❤ 

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:5