WOW, how has it REALLY been a whole nine months since I have written here? Time goes by so much faster when you are taking on more than you can handle. I am so happy to be back though and hopefully, I’ll be coming here much more frequently now that Nick and I are moved and settled yet again. And, for those of you that don’t know, I am 6 months pregnant with a baby girl!! Her name will be Autumn Joy Watts, and she is due on February 4th. Also, a HUGE announcement for Nick! He finally graduated Flight School in October, and is officially a Warrant Officer. Now we are stationed at the Join Lewis McChord Army base in Washington.

SO much has happened since my last entry. I worked for the Child Development Center for about 9 months, and underwent a pretty stressful hostile work situation there which ultimately led me to my resignation. However, when I found out I was pregnant in June, I started to experience some rough first trimester sickness which also made it much harder for me to work. By the time my second trimester came around, it was about time for me to quit anyways and start packing for yet another full-dity move across the U.S. 

So below I am going to do my best to catch y’all up on the details since February of 2023. If it seems a bit messy, bear with me as my pregnancy brain is definitely not at full working capacity. Below I will mention Young Life/Club Beyond, which has been a huge potential job opportunity for me. For those of you who don’t know, Young Life is a highly-acclaimed Christian organization which has established many outreach programs across the U.S, and abroad. The name of its military outreach organization is Club Beyond, which focuses solely on ministering to military teens. I applied to work for Club Beyond back in September when I also had applied to work at the CDC. Although they ultimately decided against starting a Club Beyond program at Fort Rucker due to my super short time there, I have remained in touch with them to this day. I am praying about what God may have planned for me within the organization. 

Initially, we thought we were going to stay in the South. We found out that we were going to be stationed in Savannah, Georgia, and I was pretty excited at the time. I applied to work for Young Life’s Club Beyond prior to finding out where we were going to move next, so I was hoping that wherever I went, I would be able to pursue a job with them. To my dismay, my Club Beyond supervisor told me that they had no Young Life/Club Beyond stations out in Savannah, Georgia. So, I accepted it as God’s will, and set my eyes on a completely brand new and unknown path. 

I can’t seem to remember when we got that news, but I am pretty sure it was about 3-4 months before I found out I was pregnant in June of 2023. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, we were told that we would not be moving to Savannah, Georgia. Needless to say, we were completely SHOCKED. Honestly, I am still shocked. I still can’t believe that I am here. The military powers-that-be told us that we would be moving to Joint Base Lewis McChord in Washington, which is very close to Tacoma and Olympia, AND most of Nick’s family and my family. They told us that on paper, our orders had said “Savannah”, but that in the computer system, which apparently trumps all, it had said JBLM. JBLM was our second choice, and Savannah, Georgia was our fourth choice. 

You can imagine my excitement when I realized that God had placed me not only close to my family again, but also the possibility of working for Young Life/Club Beyond back on the table. I ran to my email and let my Young Life/Club Beyond supervisor know of the change of plan and the baby news. He was thrilled, and invited me to an orientation/discernment weekend in Colorado Springs where the Young Life headquarters is located. Although the discernment weekend was being held just a couple weeks before we were scheduled to move, I decided to go. On the day before I left, I unknowingly had gotten food poisoning. So the first day there, I was in utter misery. I don’t think I have ever been that miserable in all my life to be honest. I am about 90% it was commissary ground beef, but I digress. 

Minus that awful experience, I had an incredible time and felt very encouraged, but also discouraged at the discernment weekend. With my pending pregnancy, I realized that I most likely wouldn’t be able to take on the job description that they initially had planned for me, which fell underneath a Community Director. I plan on meeting with the President of Club Beyond, and a supervisor soon to figure out what my next steps should be. I really look forward to keeping y’all in the loop on what God has in store with that. 

The move from Fort Rucker (now Fort Novosel, although it will always be Fort Rucker to me) to JBLM was an excruciating one. It was even more excruciating for Nick and his family which helped him move our belongings and fur babies across the U.S AGAIN. Although I got to fly back to Washington with Nick’s family, it was tough for me to leave Nick behind when we had done our last cross-country move together. Although our first cross-country roadtrip almost ended our relationship a handful of times (mostly kidding although those cross-country roads REALLY tested our patience), it was an unforgettable adventure I will never forget. Leaving him behind wasn’t what I had envisioned for this move, but it was the right call considering I am pregnant and would have slowed Nick and his family down considerably. 

Finally, we have reached the NOW, which is living in a new home in Yelm, Washington. Finding a home was really difficult, especially one that accommodated all three of our crazy but amazing pets. Oh my goodness, that’s right! We got a new dog in April, and her name is Molly. She is a Golden Doodle, and has been the most precious addition to our family. Although I will admit that I did get her without Nick’s full consent (yes, eek, I know), she has really been a blessing to us and our black lab who really needed more companionship. 

God was SO good to give us this new and beautiful home in Yelm. We sifted through so many homes, and definitely went through our fair share of bad experiences. In the end though, God really came through for us and we feel so blessed. I will share some pictures of our lovely new home down below:) 

Yelm has such a comfy and country feel to it. I am really excited to raise our daughter here, and share some pictures of the area with y’all once I manage to take a few. My goal is to come on here much more regularly, and share with y’all the rest of my pregnancy experience, my new mother journey, and God’s plan for me moving forward as a military spouse and mother. I am expecting motherhood to be pretty rough on me, but I am also expecting it to be so rewarding and incredible. I can’t wait to see my baby girl, and share her with y’all. 

One of my biggest fears that I have though, is that I won’t be fulfilled as a mother. As much as I love my daughter, I have this aching feeling that I will feel stuck at home taking care of her, and that I won’t be able to pursue the things (like Club Beyond) that I have a yearning for. My fear is that I will just become a mom, and nothing else. That is not a bad thing mind you, not in the slightest. Being a mother is incredibly important and noble, in fact way more so than any job I could land out in the world. I guess I am just afraid of not being able to reach my true potential outside of motherhood. Although one could argue that motherhood may unlock my true potential that has been just waiting to be released. After Autumn is born, my thought process may be completely turned on its head. Only time will tell. 

Ultimately though, God knows what’s best for me and He continues to remind me everyday that even when I don’t feel even close to being enough, I am in fact enough. I haven’t felt like I am enough for quite some time now. Every time I come close to feeling enough, or confident in what I have and what I am doing, a life-altering event happens and I lose touch with myself. My confidence has been shaken to its core more times than I can count now, and yet at the end of the day, I do feel peace. I feel peace because I know that even in my feelings of inadequacy and defeat, God isn’t done with me yet. He has shown His love and grace towards me time and time again in my rough times, and He continues to deliver even when I feel I have nothing to give. 

Here is a semi-quick example of this, which I can go deeper into detail in a next blog. While at Fort Rucker, I met many military spouses on Facebook, however this particular one led to a relationship that I never could have dreamt of. I was struggling with finding purpose, but I was writing here and sharing my experiences and trying, like everyone else, how to figure this dance called life out. I met this girl at a coffee shop, and to my greatest surprise, she had read my blog. AND, she proceeded to ask me questions about it. O_O We talked for hours, and I shared with her a bit about why I wrote, and about my faith behind it. This led to me giving her a place to stay when she was on the brink of divorce, helping her reunite with her husband, and ultimately leading her AND her husband to Jesus. This most recent Easter, she told me that her and her husband were baptized. 

Although this is a very long story short, how incredible is God?! Here I am in my own struggle, thinking that God is just sitting on my life and watching me squirm, and yet He was working in ways I never imagined possible. I was writing things, thinking they would never really go noticed, and someone responded. Their life, unbeknownst to me, would never be the same ever again. Their life, as well as their husband’s life, would be forever changed and saved by Jesus Christ. 

This experience taught me that my words and writings do have purpose. It taught me that even when I don’t think I am enough, I am enough. When I don’t think my words are doing anything, they really are. God has no limits. He used me and my humble words to bring these two people ultimately to Him, even when I had NO clue I had that potential. So, even though I feel pretty discouraged, and unworthy now, who knows what God is going to do in my weakness. Based on previous experiences, I have a feeling that something amazing is on the horizon. So underneath the defeat and demoralization, I still have hope and an unrelenting peace. 

If you have made it this far, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading all of this, and I really look forward to staying more in touch with y’all. This is a completely new chapter, and God has told my heart to share it in depth with y’all even more than before. If you have anything you need prayer for, message me or drop a prayer request in the comments and I would love to pray for you. I have an upcoming third trimester appointment coming up, and loads of new developments brewing, so be on the lookout for some new posts soon 😉