Hey y’all, I am sorry it’s been a bit since I have come on here and updated y’all! It’s still extremely hot here, and the bugs are nuts. BUT I have had some job interviews, and I am excited to see what God has in store for me with those (hopefully something!). Nick starts flight school next week which is very exciting! He took a week off so we have been enjoying it and soaking in each other’s company. Once flight school starts, Nick will be extremely busy, and I will (hopefully) have another job to keep me more busy. In the meantime, I have been meeting so many amazing women here on base, and it has been so fun getting to know them and making new friends! It has really uplifted my spirit in many ways, and I really feel like I am making a great impact here. 🙂 

It’s been SO nice meeting other military spouses and learning that I am not alone in the ways that I feel. I am not the only one struggling to find a job, experiencing anxiety, and going through some tough times personally. It has been so refreshing meeting other women that I can relate to, and pray for. I feel so very blessed! 

In addition to meeting many incredible military spouses, I have been trying to garden and build my indoor plant collection. Growing a garden has been really hard here because of constant bugs. I recently found tomato hornworms all over my tomato plants, and my heart sank when I found my tomatoes and tomato flowers eaten. But, I am not giving up! This military spouse life has taught me to never give up even when I really feel like it. I think it upset me so much because I worked so hard to keep them watered, in the sun, and taken care of… but it seemed like whatever I did didn’t really matter. Sometimes this life feels like that. Scoring interviews is great and all, don’t get me wrong. But lately it seems like I have been so happy for getting one, and that it doesn’t turn into more. It’s so hard to work so hard for something, but then have it not work out like you hoped. 

This kind of life, the military spouse life, can be full of those kinds of disappointments. I am SO happy for Nick and want to support him in every way possible, but sometimes I really feel like I am being left behind, and that can be really hard. It’s like in La La Land (one of my personal favorites) when Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling both want their own very different careers, but they want to be together too. Ultimately they had to make a choice between their dream career, or each other. Sadly they chose their careers and split up, but after being super frustrated and bummed about that ending, I have thought about it so much more and I understand why it ended that way now. Isn’t it so hard to have both?! For me my dream was Nick and a family, and it still is. Like I have explained in previous blogs, I was always trying to figure out what my calling/career path was when I was in high school and college. But I guess I just didn’t realize how much of my personal dreams and potential career I would have to lay down at God’s feet.

But you know what? I don’t have any regrets. I know God wants me here for a reason. He has BIG plans for me, and I can see him working in my life slowly but surely. All the amazing women I have met have such a special role in my life, and I hope that I have a special role in theirs. Even though I am insecure about where my career/life is going, God is helping me accept myself just the way I am every day. Every day I get to wake up to the love of my life, and that is a major blessing in itself. I roll out of bed, and I keep on swinging. And I know God blesses that.

During this time, I have also had a lot of fun finding new hobbies, growing spiritually, improving my mental and physical health, and making new friends. All of those things are SO important, just as important if not more important than having a job. But the world doesn’t train us to pay attention to our wellbeing. Its all about clicks, messages, self-help, achieving goals, and staying busy. But God says no, that isn’t what I have for you. And let me tell you, what He has is SO much better. The world’s outlook on life is such a bummer. Its stupid hard, makes no sense more than half the time, and expects way too much from us. But God is teaching me how to get rid of that “busy”, selfish mindset, and completely surrender everything to him. My goals, insecurities, doubts, and weakness just to name a few. But He is also telling me to give Him my talents, strengths, attention, and patience, and to wait and see what He has planned. Needless to say, this is crazy hard and a constant uphill battle. But God is always faithful, and I know He is SO much better than anything this silly, stupid, and nonsensical world has to offer.

Like I said, I feel like God is preparing me for something special. I am just SO impatient and want it to happen now! But it can’t happen until I turn into the strong and confident woman of God He wants me to be. Satan is always trying to sprinkle doubt into any crevice that he can find in my life, and it’s exhausting fighting against my own degrading and negative thoughts sometimes. BUT. God sees me in my struggle, and fights on my behalf when I am too weak. He makes me strong, even when I feel weak. And you know what? A life with God constantly on your side is a life worth living, and fighting for.. even during the darkest and hardest times. Those times make us even stronger, and prepare us for the unseen greatness that God has planned for us. 

If you can relate to any of what I am sharing, please know you are not alone. I am here for you, but most importantly God is always there for you. I am always leaving God on the sidelines in my life, but He is always waiting patiently for me to come back to Him. And when I fail and feel so lost and discouraged, He is right there ready to forgive me and accept me as I am! Life is so much better with Jesus, because He has a plan for everyone, which includes YOU, even if you don’t believe it 🙂 I love y’all and just want to thank you all so much for reading my life story, and encouraging me in this season of my life. This life is TOUGH, but God’s love is so much stronger than what this life has to throw at you. Know that He loves you, and wants to be in your life today. As for me I am gonna keep chugging best I can, and keep sharing my adventures and adversities with y’all in the hopes that they will continue to encourage and  inspire y’all. 🙂