Hey y’all, it’s been a minute I know. I have been SO busy with two jobs, and taking care of a house and pets so I am sorry I haven’t been as daily as my blog suggests. Nick came home for Christmas and New Years and it was lovely. I got a taste of what it’s like to have him home, and it was wonderful. I mainly stayed off of social media because I just wanted to enjoy our short and treasured time just him and I. In a way, I wish he wouldn’t have come home because it was even harder letting him go the second time. But then again, it was SO nice having him to come home to, and having him for Christmas and New Years. I still had to work but, I would come home for lunch to him everyday I worked and it was so very nice to just see him, make him lunch or coffee, and chat with him about my day. Lately, I have been coming home to a crazy puppy and a meowy kitty, which is definitely better than nothing!

It has been a lot harder the second time. I see him everyday in places that are empty, which is very hard for me. When I come home now, there is no one to give me a kiss and welcome me home. I come home, fall asleep on the couch, make some dinner, maybe play some games on my PC or watch some TV, and then go to sleep way too late for my own good. Needless to say, it’s been a challenge. But during this time, I am really trying to figure out what God’s will is for my life. That in itself is a challenge given the busy schedule I have set up for myself; however I know that God is faithful and that He sees and understands my pain. He won’t give up on me no matter how many times I give up on myself.

There are definitely times though when I am like, “What the world is God’s will for my life?!” I went to college, I graduated and succeeded in that, I got married, now what?! I know that I love to write, and that I love helping people. I know that I have skills that are useful, and yet getting a job is like finding a needle in a haystack these days. I also have two more moves in my future which, makes things even more challenging in the job and life department. Oftentimes I find myself asking God for peace and comfort, when I should also be asking Him for wisdom. However I also get stuck in my own misery, and often stay in it too long to realize God’s faithfulness, and the pieces of his plan for my life. If I was to be completely honest, sometimes I let myself stay in self-pity. Sometimes I don’t want to fight the struggle, I just want to sit in it and be in my feelings.

However I know that this is not what God wants for me. At the end of the day and the feeling, He is always there to offer his blessings, wisdom, and help. But we have to seek it! And thats the hardest part sometimes with how much this life values busy-ness and productivity. That is definitely the hardest part for me. Most of the time, the last thing I want to do is come home and crack open my Bible. It’s not natural at all, but we need to fight for it. And when we fight for it, God comes close to us and reveals to us His love and encouragement; and in time, His plan for our lives. This is what I am searching for within this season of being alone, and I could definitely use some prayer and encouragement from you all during this time. Sometimes (more often than not), I feel like this life is nothing but pain; but God always reminds me that there is so much more to this life if I just remember to seek Him out. I love you all, and I hope 2022 is showering you all with blessings 🙂

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6